Our second pregnancy.
Our first pregnancy was amazing and terrifying. It’s overwhelming looking at carseats and diapering options. Don’t even get me started on the pacifier debates (when, how, what kind). I sat on the couch for hours, reading, considering, asking mama-friends for advice. Any teeny-tiny new symptom was a sudden “is this normal” wonder and constant worrying. Even the daring “what If I don’t love my child?” worry. We survived the difficult first three months with a newborn, and are now discovering the joys of having a little toddler around!
Our second pregnancy is similar but distinctly different. It fits the standard “different mama, different baby”. My body has done it before, so things happen earlier. I, surprisingly, still often worry. This time about loving another child, my kids interacting, how I’ll nurse for 45min every 2 hours with a toddler around, will nursing still be so painful for so long. All those unknowns. The difference is — I’m a different person. Sure I know the basics, but most importantly I know to expect the unexpected. That things constantly change, and somehow — we just adapt and life continues.
As different as we all are to our siblings, this kiddo will be different than our eldest. We’ll have to trial-and-error all the sleep stuff, feeding stuff, swaddle preferences, temperament tendencies, and adjust our time-management all over again with this little person. We will learn to juggle a marriage, children, work, family, and friends. And I’m strangely OK with that. Because we are almost half-way there. Almost half-way of holding our child in our arms.